you got a brand new soul and a cross of gold
by Tiffany Blews
Summary: All I could give you was a reputation. Puck and Quinn, being the worst things that ever happened to each other.


I. you catholic girls start much too late

Quinn's staring at the ceiling, and her head's spinning, and Puck's got his hands all over her. It occurs to her that she should push him away. She should stand up and straighten her clothes, then go home and repent. She should, should, should... But she doesn't. And when he breathes, _are you sure_? against her lips, she nods.

Puck slips off her panties and by the time she remembers he's Finn's best friend, it is much, much too late. And when she leaves the party, hand trailing on the wall to steady herself, she doesn't regret it.

II. sooner or later, it comes down to fate

Pregnancy test in her hands, and Quinn's never prayed so hard in her life.

She just wants everything to be okay. She wants to be happy and healthy. She wants to be a good girl. She wants to be accepted. She wants to be loved. She wants, wants, wants... And when the timer dings, she's not really sure what she's been praying for at all.

III. i might as well be the one

It can happen to anyone, Mrs. Myers says, it can happen to _you_.

She rolls her eyes and doodles hearts on her handout. It only happens to bad girls. It only happens to girls with no self respect, with no morals. She sneers down at her own name, it could never happen to Quinn Fabray.

She puts a hand on her stomach and feels like she's a walking statistic.

IV. they showed you a statue, told you to pray.

"Lucy, bow your head. And stop that, okay? Talk to God."

She watches mommy's mouth move while she clenches her hands together in her lap, eyes closed in concentration. The preacher is shouting, and she wants to cover her ears but she's afraid of getting scolded again. Instead, she says the alphabet over and over without making a sound.

V. they never told you the price that you'd pay for the things that you might have done

"You are the dissapointment here."

She spent an entire lifetime thinking religion was about love, and acceptance, and faith. Not persecution and turned backs and pregnant daughters thrown out on their own. She vows then to never, ever put her life into something again. She is the only thing she can count on.

VI. i run with a dangerous crowd

The first time Puck gets drunk he's thirteen and in the eighth grade, hanging out with juniors on the football team and trying to look way cooler than he actually is.

He sits back, smoking a cigarette, all the while being careful not to inhale because he still can't do it without coughing. Becky Lawerence situates herself in his lap, alcohol on her breath and a mischevious look in her eyes. She takes his hand and leads him up stairs.

It is the first, but definitely not the last time he has sex at a house party.

VII. we ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud

She'll never tell anyone this, but the first time she saw Puck, her heart fell to her feet.

And she doesn't know why. She can't put her finger on the reason, but she wanted him.

The first words he ever said to her: "What's up?"

Her heart fluttered, but she tossed her ponytail over her shoulder and scoffed before narrowing her eyes and sauntering away. From then on her refers to her as Ice Cold Q. She doesn't refer to him at all.

VIII. might be laughin' a bit too loud

Finn practically kisses the ground Quinn walks on.

Puck's disgusted by it, honestly, but he can't blame the guy. Finn's weakminded and Quinn's like an angel, until she flips the bitch switch. He likes how she walks through the halls, too good to be bothered by trivial high school bullshit. He likes her snarky little smile. He likes _her_, though he can't really tell you why. She's out of his league and certainly not his type (read: easy.)

He watches her between fourth and fifth periods, and everyday when she passes him, laughter bubbles out of her mouth and she flips her ponytail. The whole act is a little too practiced. Quinn's not all that she seems to be, and, sometimes, he wonders if he's the only one that notices.

VIII. show me a sign, send up a signal, i'll throw you a line

"Stop it, okay?"

He takes a swig of his beer, raises his eyebrows "Stop what?"

"_Trying_. It's not going to happen."

He smirks, "Sometimes I think you really underestimate me, Q."

She rolls her eyes (but she doesn't walk away, and that means something.)

IX. the stained glass curtain you're hiding behind never lets in the sun

"Do you even know how to have fun?"

No, she thinks, not really. But she doesn't respond, just purses her lips and continues filing her nails. She thinks nasty thoughts about Santana as the girl talks and talks about Quinn and her lack of a social life. _At least I'm not a _slut, she almost says out loud, then she thinks better of it because Jesus is always watching.

"There's a party tonight. Go with me and Brittany, okay? Please? You're missing out, Q. You're gonna regret this. One party, and if you completely hate it then at least you tried it out."

Quinn seriously contempates saying no, but then she thinks, _what the hell. _And then she repents, but she still says yes.

XI. all i could give you was a reputation

She will never get used to the whispers.

Then: how beautiful, how strong, how smart.

Now: how bad, how embarassing, how funny.

She holds her head up high and when she passes Puck, eyes on the ground at his locker, she stares hard enough to burn holes in him. He refuses to look at her. She doesn't know how she feels.

XII. you got a brand new soul and a cross of gold

Puck wonders how it feels to walk around like she does.

He thinks maybe that was him, before the baby, before everything that happened. Maybe he looked that poweful, that strong, but probably not. She's always been on a higher level.

He gets some sick satisfaction out of knowing he's the only bad spot on her otherwise spotless record. And when she looks back, she'll never forget that.

XIII. i'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints

Drunk, again, and isn't it funny how he always finds her like this?

"Wine cooler?" She asks playfully, easily avoiding his eyes as he finds a seat next to her.

"You're drinking vodka."

She nods, "It goes down a lot smoother."

She knows he's smirking without looking.

They end up fucking in the back of his truck and when he falls asleep she draws patterns on his chest with the tip of her bare fingers, no ring, and she wonders when this feeling became normal for her. She thinks she likes it.

XIII. the sinners are much more fun

In the morning, she says, "Our secret, baby."

He laughs, she laughs, and maybe it's okay that they are the worst things that ever happened to each other. He thinks, maybe that's just how the best things start.


End file.
